Last week, I talked about interviewing friends for positions on board and how it might be uncomfortable because I'm supposed to be judging them on what they said on the meeting, even if that's not the person they are outside of the interview. Well, those interviews are now over and I have the lovely task of telling my friend that she did not make it on to board (someone on the board wanted to send out rejection emails, but I retorted with the fact that we are a student run organization, not an employer doing a job search--these rejections require personal phone calls). We came to the decision as a board: she did not have the passion or enthusiasm we were looking for, there did not seem to be a sense of initiative when we asked her about her role within a group and her redefining the mission statement in her own words showed that she understood the mission but not how to apply the mission into programming. She says she wants to be more involved, but didn't give any new program ideas, and the ones she did suggest can be done by someone not on board. I understand the reasons that we did not choose her, but how do I tell her?
She's a good friend of mine, and we had dinner last night. I sat through dinner and all I could think about is I have to tell her she can't be on board, which she has been looking forward to all semester. I talked to a few different people to try and figure out how to say this without hurting our friendship. The comment that was made by everyone was: be honest. Let her know that you were part of this decision, but the final decision was made by the board as a whole--not one person in particular. This is not a reflection of the work or commitment she's had to the organization thus far. She did not show us the leader we were looking for. There is a risk that this could hurt our friendship. And I really hope that our friendship is more than a board position. However, I understand that now programs we go to might be a little uncomfortable. But it is only little discomfort and an awkward stare every now and again that I risk by taking responsibility by being the one to tell her the decision of the board.
In the case of the Notre Dame president, he risks slightly more than awkwardness by accepting responsibility for the actions that led to the death of a student. He risks a lawsuit and liability payments. But taking responsibility was the right thing to do, just as making phone calls instead of sending out emails is the right thing to do in my situation. It's tough, but putting this much thought into the decision helps to show how right it is.
She's a good friend of mine, and we had dinner last night. I sat through dinner and all I could think about is I have to tell her she can't be on board, which she has been looking forward to all semester. I talked to a few different people to try and figure out how to say this without hurting our friendship. The comment that was made by everyone was: be honest. Let her know that you were part of this decision, but the final decision was made by the board as a whole--not one person in particular. This is not a reflection of the work or commitment she's had to the organization thus far. She did not show us the leader we were looking for. There is a risk that this could hurt our friendship. And I really hope that our friendship is more than a board position. However, I understand that now programs we go to might be a little uncomfortable. But it is only little discomfort and an awkward stare every now and again that I risk by taking responsibility by being the one to tell her the decision of the board.
In the case of the Notre Dame president, he risks slightly more than awkwardness by accepting responsibility for the actions that led to the death of a student. He risks a lawsuit and liability payments. But taking responsibility was the right thing to do, just as making phone calls instead of sending out emails is the right thing to do in my situation. It's tough, but putting this much thought into the decision helps to show how right it is.
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