It's not fun to be living with someone who is not the best roommate. It's even less fun to be living with someone who doesn't handle the situation well. I live with three other girls, for a total of four of us in an apartment. Three of us get along just fine. The other one, not so much. She is studying abroad next semester and is having difficulty finding a subletter. She can't afford to pay for studying abroad and rent on an apartment that she is not living in. Rather than putting in the effort to find a subletter, she has given up and wants to terminate her lease. By doing so, the other three of us living in the apartment would have to cover her rent; we become legally responsible for her portion of the rent. As much as she can't afford to be paying rent in two places, I can't afford to cover her portion of the rent. With the type of lease we have, all of the people living in the apartment have to sign a piece of paper saying that this girl can be released from her lease and that we will cover her portion of the rent. Rather than asking us or talking to us about the situation, she sent an email saying that she needs us to sign this paperwork because we put her in an unfortunate situation by not helping to cover her rent. 

Two issues with this mode of approach. One she did not talk to us. She sent an email. Preventing confrontation by hiding behind an email. Secondly, she blames us for her not being able to find a roommate. It is not our responsibility to cover her rent. We each signed a legally binding document for a year saying that we would cover one fourth of the rent and that if we could not pay that portion, to find someone else who could pay that amount (like a subletter). 

When I replied to the email, she asked for my parent's phone number so that her mother could talk to them. Rather than dealing with the situation on her own, she had her mother handle her problems. I told her that I am the one living in the apartment and that I am the one responsible for what goes on in there, not my parents. 

Later that afternoon, I got a phone call from an unknown number. I answered, and it was this girl's mother, confronting me about the situation, trying to bully me into signing this piece of paper and letting her daughter off the lease. I am not a fan of confrontation, but this was ridiculous. I was getting yelled at and questioned on the "fairness" of this situation by a grown woman, dealing with her daughter's living situation. She couldn't understand why I was putting her daughter in this situation and why I wouldn't just let her off the lease. I tried to explain my reasoning, and was firm about not agreeing to sign the paperwork or giving her my parent's phone numbers. 

I wonder if this mother realizes the disservice she is doing for her daughter. Not only is she letting her daughter avoid her issues and dealing with them on behalf of her daughter, but she is teaching her that it is okay to bully people. If you question them and argue with them enough, eventually they will give in and you will get what you want. How long will this go on? Will my roommate ever learn how to solve problems? Will she ever be able to deal with a situation on her own without bullying people? 

This week, I attended an event for OneVoice. This organization, with offices in New York and Britain as well as parallel movements in Israel and Palestine, is a moderate non-partisan political organization that advocates for the creation of two states in Israel, using the 1967 borders, and most importantly, ending the violence in the region. This grassroots operation works to motivate the people to speak their mind, imagine a better world and advocate for an end to violence. The event I attended consisted of an Israeli citizen, a Palestinian and representatives from OneVoice. The Israeli spoke about his experience in the army in Hebron and how that experience changed his life and because of those events, wanted to participate in OneVoice. The Palestinian spoke of his experience in an Israeli prison that he was taken too after arriving at a security check point on the way into the West Bank. His experience in an Israeli prison made him want to participate in OneVoice. 

The event was good in concept, but not executed very effectively. Both men spoke of their personal experiences and what they're doing for the organization. I would have liked to have them facilitate a discussion about what are thoughts and opinions are, use their experience living in the region to correct our misconceptions and give us a better understanding of the reality. The conversation they did have us participate in was unstructured and not really related to the presentation. Good idea, but not the best program. 

This week, Courtney and Anthony talked about the way large organizations use money. 

Courtney described her participation in THON, the largest student run philanthropy in the world. And while she does not have the skill set or knowledge to cure cancer, she is doing her part to make a difference in the world and in the difference of a child. THON and those volunteering their time and energy for this organization do so knowing that 96 cents out of every dollar goes to help a child fighting the fight of their lives. Having participated in THON organizations in the past and seeing how much time and energy committee members put into this weekend, I can only imagine the dedication people like Courtney have to spend so much time and energy truly making a difference in the world. 

Anthony, in his blog talked about the way the government is using its money. Rather than funding smart power, the government is overspending in the department of defense. Anthony points out that by running a deficit, having debt issues and spending so much money on defense that this government is not focusing on the issues at home. I think there is a balance issue that needs to be worked out. We cannot spend all of our money in one department, whether it's defense or smart power--we have to balance our resources and effectively use our assets. I know this is easier said than done, but, as a country, where are our priorities? How can our budget reflect those priorities? And how can we economize to better use our resources?

The New York Times on Tuesday reported an article about Shalit. In June of 2006, Gilad Shalit was captured in a cross-border raid by Hamas and taken Gilad into captivity in Gaza. A prisoner release agreement has been tentatively reached between Hamas and Israel. The trade would entail Israel releasing over 1000 Palestinian prisoners for Gilad Shalit. 

This seems like an unfair trade--1000 prisoners, held captive for killing Israelis in exchange for one Israeli soldier. I think this shows two different values. One one hand, Israel is willing to do whatever it takes to get a solider back--every soldier is valued for the service they do for the country. However, is Israel ready to risk possible future attacks by these released prisoners? I think the answer is that Israel lives in the here and now--thinking about all the what ifs would prevent the country from moving forward. 

With this agreement, Israel is negotiating with a known terrorist group. Hamas is a recognized terrorist group in the world opinion and negotiating with them seems to legitimize them in some way. Hamas knows how much Israel value each solider and asks for an exorbitant amount of released prisoners knowing that Israel will release them in exchange for a live soldier. 

But why now? Negotiations were almost reached a few years earlier. What's changed that an agreement has now been reached? All of the uncertainty in the area after the Arab Spring has forced negotiations to be made, knowing that what might be accomplished now may not be able to be accomplished with future governments. 

This situation strikes home with me because I was in Israel when these three soldiers were taken captive and when the war with Lebanon broke out in 2006. I was there. I was touring a kibbutz where we were able to see the Gaza skyline and an Israeli intelligence plane flying above the city. I was there. Yet I was able to come home and continue living my life. Gilad's life has stopped for these past five and a half years and I hope and pray that he is okay and able to return to his family in the coming week. I also hope that no trouble or skirmishes arise as the direct result of this prisoner release; I can only imagine what the repercussions would  be for future captive soldiers. 

Today is the last day before Yom Kippur. Tonight, I am driving home to spend the holiday with my family. Tomorrow we sit in synagogue all day, praying for forgiveness and hoping that G-d will inscribe us in the book of life for the coming year. In the ten days between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, we are supposed to be asking for forgiveness and repenting for the sins we have committed this past year. A website I discovered this year was Do You 10Q? Every day, there is a new question that asks you to reflect on the past year and make decisions about how you want to live your life in the coming year. After you answer all of the questions, you submit them and next year, your answers are emailed back to you. I challenge you to take some time to reflect and think about how you will make life better next year. 

May you all be written in the book of life for the coming year. Shana Tova. 

Here are the questions:
1. Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

2. Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you're especially proud of from this past year?
3. Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?

4. The revolution in Egypt really made me look at the way we present ourselves in how information about us shared in ways we don't even know. Made me question how we percieve ourselves, do we value anything differently by sharing too much or too little? what does it mean to be addicted to facebook that we are so curious about the lives of others but can't talk to them or ask them personally. How is this world going to change with the creation and development of more technology? are we going to stop actually communicating with each other and just emailing/messaging/posting on the internet? how will that affect relationships, the way we view the world?

5. Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? "Spiritual" can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.

6. Describe one thing you'd like to achieve by this time next year. Why is this important to you?

7. How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?

8. Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in 2012?

9. What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?

10. When September 2012 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you'll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you're at as a result of thinking about and answering these questions?