It's not fun to be living with someone who is not the best roommate. It's even less fun to be living with someone who doesn't handle the situation well. I live with three other girls, for a total of four of us in an apartment. Three of us get along just fine. The other one, not so much. She is studying abroad next semester and is having difficulty finding a subletter. She can't afford to pay for studying abroad and rent on an apartment that she is not living in. Rather than putting in the effort to find a subletter, she has given up and wants to terminate her lease. By doing so, the other three of us living in the apartment would have to cover her rent; we become legally responsible for her portion of the rent. As much as she can't afford to be paying rent in two places, I can't afford to cover her portion of the rent. With the type of lease we have, all of the people living in the apartment have to sign a piece of paper saying that this girl can be released from her lease and that we will cover her portion of the rent. Rather than asking us or talking to us about the situation, she sent an email saying that she needs us to sign this paperwork because we put her in an unfortunate situation by not helping to cover her rent.
Two issues with this mode of approach. One she did not talk to us. She sent an email. Preventing confrontation by hiding behind an email. Secondly, she blames us for her not being able to find a roommate. It is not our responsibility to cover her rent. We each signed a legally binding document for a year saying that we would cover one fourth of the rent and that if we could not pay that portion, to find someone else who could pay that amount (like a subletter).
When I replied to the email, she asked for my parent's phone number so that her mother could talk to them. Rather than dealing with the situation on her own, she had her mother handle her problems. I told her that I am the one living in the apartment and that I am the one responsible for what goes on in there, not my parents.
Later that afternoon, I got a phone call from an unknown number. I answered, and it was this girl's mother, confronting me about the situation, trying to bully me into signing this piece of paper and letting her daughter off the lease. I am not a fan of confrontation, but this was ridiculous. I was getting yelled at and questioned on the "fairness" of this situation by a grown woman, dealing with her daughter's living situation. She couldn't understand why I was putting her daughter in this situation and why I wouldn't just let her off the lease. I tried to explain my reasoning, and was firm about not agreeing to sign the paperwork or giving her my parent's phone numbers.
I wonder if this mother realizes the disservice she is doing for her daughter. Not only is she letting her daughter avoid her issues and dealing with them on behalf of her daughter, but she is teaching her that it is okay to bully people. If you question them and argue with them enough, eventually they will give in and you will get what you want. How long will this go on? Will my roommate ever learn how to solve problems? Will she ever be able to deal with a situation on her own without bullying people?
Two issues with this mode of approach. One she did not talk to us. She sent an email. Preventing confrontation by hiding behind an email. Secondly, she blames us for her not being able to find a roommate. It is not our responsibility to cover her rent. We each signed a legally binding document for a year saying that we would cover one fourth of the rent and that if we could not pay that portion, to find someone else who could pay that amount (like a subletter).
When I replied to the email, she asked for my parent's phone number so that her mother could talk to them. Rather than dealing with the situation on her own, she had her mother handle her problems. I told her that I am the one living in the apartment and that I am the one responsible for what goes on in there, not my parents.
Later that afternoon, I got a phone call from an unknown number. I answered, and it was this girl's mother, confronting me about the situation, trying to bully me into signing this piece of paper and letting her daughter off the lease. I am not a fan of confrontation, but this was ridiculous. I was getting yelled at and questioned on the "fairness" of this situation by a grown woman, dealing with her daughter's living situation. She couldn't understand why I was putting her daughter in this situation and why I wouldn't just let her off the lease. I tried to explain my reasoning, and was firm about not agreeing to sign the paperwork or giving her my parent's phone numbers.
I wonder if this mother realizes the disservice she is doing for her daughter. Not only is she letting her daughter avoid her issues and dealing with them on behalf of her daughter, but she is teaching her that it is okay to bully people. If you question them and argue with them enough, eventually they will give in and you will get what you want. How long will this go on? Will my roommate ever learn how to solve problems? Will she ever be able to deal with a situation on her own without bullying people?
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