my journey
 
Last week I had the opportunity to lead mincha services, afternoon prayer. It was the first time I had ever led mincha, but not my first time leading services. I really do not like the spotlight and so I made my service about communal responsibility. I wrote different readings to correspond to different parts of the service and had my colleagues participate in the service by reading these excerpts. Overall, I think it went pretty well. I'm still not very confident with the nusach (melody) of the afternoon prayers from the leadership perspective, but that will only come with practice. But in general, if I were to do it again, I don't think I would change too much. 

Today, I had the challenge of giving a D'var Torah (a speech about the Torah portion this week). I say challenge because I despise giving speeches. I can write it sure, and would much prefer to write something for others to read than me deliver a speech. But it was one of my requirements, and so it had to happen. I wrote about the conversation between Jacob and Laban when they are discussing Jacob's bride price for Rachel's hand in marriage. The big take away message was to look for the silver lining when everything you thought was right goes completely wrong. As some of you know, my biggest challenge when delivering a speech is talking too quickly. I'll have you know that not once when I was practicing did the cantor tell me to slow down :) Below is the transcript and click here for the video of my d'var from this morning. Let me know  if I talked too quickly! I'd also love your feedback in general. 

Off to study for midterms and get some sleep after a very very long week. Shabbat shalom!

D'var VaYeitze
How many hoops would you jump through before you decided to stop trying to reach your goal?

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go home for a weekend. Seems simple no? I had my checklist: get tickets, talk to Dave and my teachers about missing class, schedule the sheirut, sit on a plane for fourteen hours to go to a wedding, and, between layovers, see my family for only a few hours. But for a chance to see my family, even for a short while, I would do anything, wouldn't you?

I had many hoops to jump through to realize this goal, just like Jacob had to overcome many obstacles to marry the woman he loved. 

We turn our attention now to parashat VaYeitze where we find our characters Jacob and Laban mid-conversation about the bride price Jacob will pay for Rachel’s hand in marriage. 

ויאמר לבן ליעקב הכי אחי אתה ועבדתני חנם היגידה לי מה משכורתך 
(29:15) Laban said to Jacob, just because you are a kinsman, should you serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?

What we learn first is that Jacob will not be getting the family discount. However, he has the opportunity to name his price. Before we hear Jacob’s answer, we learn that Rachel Laban’s younger daughter is more beautiful than Leah, his older daughter.

Then we get Jacob’s answer to Laban’s question:
ויאהב יעקב את רחל ויאמר אעבדך שבע שנים ברחל בתך הקתנה
 (29:18) Jacob loved Rachel and so he answered, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter”

How did Jacob arrive at this magical number of seven years? It seems like an awfully long time to work before marrying the girl of your dreams. Malbim, a 19th century Russian biblical commentator suggests explanations and justifications for each year in Jacob’s offer relating to Jacob’s relationship with Rachel, social customs, and supply and demand economics.

But more than the amount Jacob offers, I am intrigued by his specific wording. Jacob says pretty precisely “I will serve seven years for Rachel your younger daughter” (29:18).

Rashi explains: If Jacob had just said I will work for Rachel, Laban could have found some other Rachel at the shuk for Jacob to marry, so Jacob adds “your daughter”. But then Laban could change Leah’s name to Rachel and marry her off first, so Jacob adds “younger”.

It seems like Jacob thought of every possible scenario in his proposition to make sure that he wasn’t tricked into marrying the wrong girl.

However, as you know the story goes (and if not, sorry for the spoiler) Jacob gets tricked and marries the wrong girl.

Is the Torah is teaching us that even if we put all this work into carefully calculating the perfect proposal, our deals may be foiled? Is the Torah telling me that even if I stress about every little detail for a weekend trip, it may not work out the way I planned? 

So I made it to Michigan and was getting ready for the wedding on Saturday when I got a call from my mom saying that she couldn’t meet me at the airport because my dad was in the hospital. As some of you know, my dad has cancer, and he had some complications from chemo the weekend I was home. So my layover Sunday afternoon with my parents was not going to be as relaxing as I had hoped. My brilliantly crafted plans were ruined.

The Torah: A Women’s Commentary asks an interesting question—does human subterfuge disrupt the divine plan or advance it? Maybe there is a purpose to our ruined plans.

If Jacob hadn’t married the wrong girl, he would not have all the children he did and the people of Israel would not be who they are. If the traffic on I-95 hadn’t cut the time I got to spend with my parents in half, I would not have had that time to catch up with my aunt and uncle who picked me up or made the memories I did with my sister rushing to get back to the airport on time.

We learn from this parsha to be like Jacob, to do what it takes, whatever it takes, to achieve our goals. And no matter how hard we try, everyday things or big life moments may not work out the way we hoped. But maybe that was God’s intention after all. Jump as high as you must to get through those hoops and pursue your happiness. Learn to look for that silver lining, that hidden divine plan when everything you thought was right goes completely wrong.

Boker Tov.
Ashley
4/18/2014 10:43:03 am

Hi Sarah- you may not remember me. I used to babysit you and Emily after school at Spingside and your father was my math teacher. This entry was awesome and It really resonated with me. Your father and family are in my thoughts and congratulations on your marriage! -Ashley Bundy Springside class 2001

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